a nose ring in corporate america

A question that almost everyone asks me at some point is, “So what's the deal with that? (gesturing to my nose ring).”

Working in corporate America, I can’t say I’ve seen a single other nose ring, let alone any other facial piercing, on a non-Indian woman. In fact I’ve been told that when describing me, people will say, “You know… the girl with the [nose tap].”

I wish that when asked about my nose ring I could dive into the time I spent traveling through Southeast Asia and some spiritual ceremony I went through, resulting in the small diamond stud that plays such a large part of who I am.

Although not nearly as interesting, this small piece of jewelry does hold a large part of my self-identity. Replace Southeast Asia with the blue collar town of Buffalo, NY and add the girl who never quite felt like she ever fit in.

The weekend after I graduated from a strict all-girls Catholic high school that banned all visible piercings, I immediately walked off the graduation stage, and armed with my best friend and my best friend's mother, walked into a tattoo/piercing shop. It was around 11am on a Saturday and my only intention at the time was to go there with Meagan while she got her first tattoo, and never really considered doing anything myself.

At the time Meagan was 2 months shy of 18, and in NY it was still illegal for anyone under 18 to get a tattoo, even with parental consent. So rather than waste the trip, Meagan's mom had her rose tattoo that had severely faded during the 20 years she had it, retouched and transformed into a dragonfly. To this day when I catch a glimpse of it across the top of her right breast, I smile, as if we're members of some secret club.

I can't even remember what my thought process was at the time, but at some point I decided that I didn't care what my father would say, and I pointed to a blue stud and proclaimed, "I want that on the left side of my nose." Suddenly, I found the petite Native American woman at the tattoo/piercing parlor bent over me, and in about 20 seconds I was pierced. Later, when my father did eventually see it, he told me it looked like I had a white-head on the side of my nose and asked if I wanted him to pop it. Occasionally he still asks.

Two months after getting my nose pierced, I wound up at a house party with my then boyfriend. After a few dozen shots too many, and praying to the porcelain god, the next morning my nose ring was gone and the piercing had healed. When Meagan's 18th birthday finally rolled around, we hit the nearest tattoo parlor where she got her first tattoo (a blue heart with wings on her lower right side) and I got my nose pierced for the second time.

When first interviewing post-graduation, I felt dyed hair and piercings just might be frowned upon, so I reverted back to my natural dark brown hair color and removed my nose ring. Once hired, I continued with the more conservative look and even sported neatly pressed button-down shirts and creased pants. For months I dressed in what felt to me like clown clothes. I felt uncomfortable, unattractive, and a million miles from being myself.

After about 8 months I decided that I just couldn't do it anymore, and didn't care what the consequences were. When I looked in the mirror I didn't recognize myself and felt incomplete. One night out of curiosity, I decided to see if my nose piercing had closed and was almost nervous to find out that it hadn't. Once it was back in, there was no going back. Wearing it on the weekends or after work simply wasn't an option. I found myself needing it in order to feel and look like myself.

The irony in my nose ring is that I absolutely hate my profile, and hate my nose in particular. To the extreme that I can't help but feel horribly unattractive when people sit at a 90 degree angle from me. It's my crooked nose and my big forehead that somehow become comfortable and sometimes even beautiful (but only sometimes) when I have my nose ring. Without it, I found myself constantly touching my left nostril and incredibly self-conscious.

Everyone asks if it hurt or how I blow my nose or if I have a lot of boogers. Just for the record, the answers are:

1. Not really. It was sore for about a week but the actual pain only lasted for a few seconds.
2. Same way I always have.
3. The inside of my nose ring does tend to accumulate some "crusties" but I'm not gonna lie, I enjoy a good nose pick from time to time, so I think of it as a win-win.