Sunday, April 6, 2008

marriage

Recently I’ve been bombarded with the modern dilemma of career versus marriage. It seems as if almost every girl I’ve friended on Facebook since kindergarten has updated her relationship status to either “engaged” or “married” within the past 12 months and inevitably I wonder if it’s just me? Am I alone in thinking that that 25 is just too young for marriage?

At this point in my life I feel as if I’m just getting started. I’ve finally jumped through the hoops of school, moved across the country, and started a career. While I’ll admit there are a few too many Saturday nights greeted with an empty bed, I can’t say that I would be ready for marriage right now or even within the foreseeable future. After all, a large part of me still feels very much like a kid, and that’s something I’m not quite ready to let go of.

So what’s the rush? I wonder if girls my age are more concerned with satisfying some internal or societal goal. Too often I’ve heard girls say, “I want to be married by the time I’m X years old.” And I think… are you getting married simply because you have hit that age and end up marrying whomever you are with at that point in your life? And where does this magical age come from?

A few weeks ago, a 22 year old recent college grad that has sort of latched onto me at work, confided to me that the thought of getting married after 30 was unthinkable. I jokingly told her, “Well I can’t even find a boyfriend and I’m older than you are, so you shouldn’t worry.” And then, as if to drive the dagger in, she replied, “Yeah and you’re way older than I am!”

[insert jaw drop]

I attributed that comment to her naturally anxious personality and let her get away with that one.