the corporate idiot

Since I've started working a common feeling I've been forced to confront is feeling like a complete and total idiot. I thought that I would be able to get past this after my first month or so but it seems to have gotten worse. In school I had grown comfortable in my role as the over-achiever where I could get A's with minimal effort and any question I had could be answered by Google.

Flash forward to the corporate world filled with project-specific jargon, acronyms and names impossible to pronounce. I can't count the number of times I've been called out on errors or mistakes in front of a room full of people only to be left feeling about an inch tall.

I never considered myself a stupid person and I actively try to learn but it all just seems so overwhelming and impossible to conquer.

I would be a liar to say that I've never retreated to a bathroom stall for a good, solid 5 minute cry before braving the world of cubicles again... will this ever pass?

Jerry Springer

So I was at work, as usual, and i received a call on my cell phone. The number was private so I decided not to answer and let it go to voicemail. About an hour later when I had some down time, I listened to the message and who would have thought that the Jerry Springer show would be on the other end. I immediately went through my mental list of any midgets or cousins I may have had sexual encounters with and since there are none, I was clueless as to why Jerry was on the phone.

Let's back track about 8 months... one night in a drunken stoopper, I thought it would be hysterical to contact the Jerry Springer show for tickets. I had completely forgotten about this until I got the call telling me I had tickets. I immediately called Jerry back and it's true... September 10th at approximately 5:30pm CST, I will be an audience member of one of America's trashiest contributions to modern society.

When talking to the Jerry representative on the phone I learned the official JS dress code:

• Men
• collared shirts
• no hats
• no logos
• no sweat pants
• Women
• "something cute"

Can't wait!! JERRY JERRY JERRY!