the daily poo-off

So since I began working, a major disturbance in an activity that's generally fairly mundane and not typically worth mentioning on a blog is (for lack of a better term) pooing. Because I spend so much time at work, it's only inevitable that what goes in must come out. That's not the interesting part.

What is interesting are the rules that no one talks about but we all seem to know. And if someone happens to violate these rules, there will be some pretty annoyed and even constipated individuals, silently crouched in a nearby stall.

The office pooing rules:

1. The last 2 stalls are strictly designated for pooing only.
2. If someone is in a stall and it's silent, leave an absolute minimum of a 1 stall buffer between yourself and the pooer. Although it's recommended that you leave as large a buffer as possible.
3. Have some common courtesy for the pooer: do not linger in the bathroom while a poo is in progress.
4. Non-pooers should try and create as much background noise as possible: loud peeing, running the water in the sink, ample paper towel dispenser noise.
5. And finally just something to think about: Hit the hand dryer on your way out... It's greatly appreciated and I like to think it sends just a little good karma my way.

So what happens when there are multiple pooers in the bathroom at the same time? I'm glad you asked. It's what's known as the "poo stand-off." Two people defiantly turtle-heading, straining not to make a sound, hoping that the other will surrender to defeat and leave. But as long as the non-pooers follow the rules, it'll work its way out. (What an awful pun.)

conversation overheard on the train

So almost every morning I wake up to my alarm and my first thought of the day is generally, "Oh man i REALLY don't want to go to work today." So i lay in bed until the last possible minute and then ultimately I'm forced to begin my day. It wasn't until this morning that I felt somewhat foolish and even spoiled for my attitude when I happened to overhear a conversation on the train.

It was just my luck that I was sandwiched in between two people who were having a conversation. My initial reaction to this was severe annoyance as they seemed to talk through me, as if I didn't even exist. It was a conversation between two strangers that was continuing from the train platform where they initially met a few minutes earlier. It was between a man and a woman in their late 40's. At first I simply thought that the man was hitting on this woman, and perhaps he was. Since I was stuck right in the middle of their conversation, I had nothing better to do than sit there and listen.

The man offered the woman a business card of a temp agency where he assured her she could find a temp job that paid up to $12 an hour. At first I was really surprised at how responsive she was to this offer. I mean in Chicago you can barley buy a drink for $12 let alone make an actual, survivable living.

So the man exits the train after a few stops and then the woman makes a cellphone call. She relays to the person the other end about what just happened and exclaimed, "God is great. God is great." She was sincerely grateful for the chance encounter that just happened.
That statement immediately brought me back to a week earlier when I had attended a Baptist service with a friend I was visiting. During the service this same phrase was exclaimed over and over. Although I'm not a terribly religious person, I can certainly recognize and appreciate the underlying truth and purpose of that statement.

I couldn't help but feel horribly self-centered and in-compassionate. It's not that I'm a bad person. It's that I very rarely take stock in what I have and what I have accomplished and truly feel grateful... that is until that humbling experience this morning. So often I focus on the smaller inconveniences in life... my commute, my student loan payments, not having a trust fund to fuel my every desire. Instead I should remember how genuinely lucky I am to have been afforded an education that has given me a not just a job but a career and a shot at a future that a lot of other people would be jealous of. The hard part is just trying to remember that at 6:30am.

my new chapter

I couldn't leave my last post on such a pessimistic note. Something a friend of mine told me is that when it's meant to happen, it just happens. And that couldn't have been more true for me. Just when I had my ideal cardboard box layout in mind and officially lost all hope of ever finding a "real job," I got the phone call that set me on a new course completely.

The time it took from the first callback and the offer was approximately one week. During that time I went through 2 phone interviews and was flown out to Chicago for an in-office visit/interview. It was crazy how it all happened, but I couldn't have been more relieved when it did (and neither could my bank account).

Two days ago I made the 12 hour drive from upstate NY to Chicago. With my car loaded with nothing more than every piece of clothing and every pair of shoes I've ever owned, I made the drive fueled with coffee and my trusty iPod.

I got my second wind somewhere around Sandusky/Toledo and hit my third when I experienced Lakeshore Dr. for the first time. White knuckling it and praying I would live long enough to make it for my first day of work, I made it my destination... well sort of.

Before even making it to my surrogate uncle's apartment, I parked my car on the street and ventured into a dog-friendly bar for a round or three. I was greasy, I was smelly, I was exhausted but more than anything I was so excited just to be there.

Monday at 8:30 am will be my official birth into adulthood.

what no one ever told me about life after graduation

I graduated with my Master's degree at the top of my class from a big name university about 4 months ago. All anyone ever told me was that my future would be bright, exciting, and how lucky I am to have this great education.

But what no one ever told me, and this seems to be a common theme among many of my friends, is that the months following graduation would be the most difficult. You're knocked down from your high-horse and begin to realize that you may not be the young, savaay go-getter that you thought you were. No one cares about your degree when you have very little "real-world" experience to back it up.

Forget about any sororities/fraternities you may have been in or the number of games of beer pong you've won. The type of car daddy bought you no longer gives you an unlimited pass to wear big sunglasses, while talking on your cellphone and somehow managing to balance a cigarette.

What no one ever told me is that the second you get that long anticipated degree, you're on your own, and that the months following graduation and before landing your first real job would be the most trying and personally revealing.

During that period of limbo you will find yourself questioning every decision you ever made in college... Should I have gotten my degree in this? WHAT do I actually want to do with my life? Do I have what it takes to make it in a job? Am I even employable?

There will be moments where you envision what it will be like living in a cardboard box while all your friends go off and live the corporate lifestyle. You begin to think, "maybe I can bring myself to become a stripper... after all it pays well." And worst of all, there will be moments of severe, earthshaking despair when you've had one too many job rejections, and you finally begin to realize that maybe your mom was wrong, maybe you aren't really all that special after all.

This is what no one ever told me about life after graduation.