the daily poo-off

So since I began working, a major disturbance in an activity that's generally fairly mundane and not typically worth mentioning on a blog is (for lack of a better term) pooing. Because I spend so much time at work, it's only inevitable that what goes in must come out. That's not the interesting part.

What is interesting are the rules that no one talks about but we all seem to know. And if someone happens to violate these rules, there will be some pretty annoyed and even constipated individuals, silently crouched in a nearby stall.

The office pooing rules:

1. The last 2 stalls are strictly designated for pooing only.
2. If someone is in a stall and it's silent, leave an absolute minimum of a 1 stall buffer between yourself and the pooer. Although it's recommended that you leave as large a buffer as possible.
3. Have some common courtesy for the pooer: do not linger in the bathroom while a poo is in progress.
4. Non-pooers should try and create as much background noise as possible: loud peeing, running the water in the sink, ample paper towel dispenser noise.
5. And finally just something to think about: Hit the hand dryer on your way out... It's greatly appreciated and I like to think it sends just a little good karma my way.

So what happens when there are multiple pooers in the bathroom at the same time? I'm glad you asked. It's what's known as the "poo stand-off." Two people defiantly turtle-heading, straining not to make a sound, hoping that the other will surrender to defeat and leave. But as long as the non-pooers follow the rules, it'll work its way out. (What an awful pun.)