numb

I am exhausted. I am exhausted from my job. I am even more exhausted from complaining about it. I am frustrated.

I can't remember the last time I had an entire, full day off. I have dreams (more like nightmares) about legacy systems, databases, and deadlines. I had my first panic attack since grad school.

I am tired of trying when trying has gotten me nowhere.

The exhaustion has led to apathy and apathy has unfolded a numbed, detached version of myself.

I do not like myself much these days.

Tomorrow will be better. I need to get back to who I used to be.