the trick date

I should have known when I kept catching the guy from my training group checking me out that something was up. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt… maybe I’m imagining it… maybe I’m just being conceited… Or maybe I just have a booger on my face.

Tonight I learned how a guy can trick a girl into going on a date. It was creepy, yet effective.

Step 1: LIE ABOUT A GROUP EVENT. Tell the girl that the entire training group is meeting up for dinner and invite her along.

Step 2: LIE ABOUT THE REST OF THE GROUP GOING AHEAD. When the girl shows up, tell her that the rest of the group is meeting you at the restaurant. This will ensure that there’s no immediate flee from the scene.

Step 3: WEAR LOTS OF COLOGNE. Don’t be shy when it comes to the cologne, guys. You’ve reach the perfect level just when her eyes begin to water and burn.

Step 4: STAGE A FAKE PHONE CALL. Now this is the most important step in tricking someone into a date. When you arrive at the restaurant pretend you can’t find the rest of the group. And just to guarantee authenticity, stage a fake phone call to someone in the group you were “supposed” to be meeting out. Now the guy I was with didn’t even bother pressing any buttons on his cell phone but I recommend dialing something, even if it is your own voice mail. Begin to pace slightly, but not too far away from the girl (you want to ensure she hears). Talk loudly saying phrases like “You’re where?... I can’t hear you… I think your cell phone is breaking up.”

Step 5: ATTEMPT TO LOOK GENUINELY CONFUSED. Tell her you have no idea where everyone else went and that it’ll just be the two of you. Try not to smile too much… you’ve got her trapped now.

A few notes about this trick date and any date in general:
DO NOT spend the evening making fun of the place the girl is from.
DO NOT laugh on the inhale… so unattractive.